look for me in the stars
by Pheobetitanessofthemoon1234
Summary: He watches her always, because not even death can make him let her go. Eight-centric, Nine/Marina. Connected to a drabble in my series All I Ask of You, called Beautiful Oblivion. T for a semi-suicide attempt, swearing and general violence.


**Part One • She Falls**

Nine's shout of _"NO!" _is still ringing in his ears, the numb iciness is spreading through his blood like wildfire, and the world seems to freeze completely when Five pulls the blade from his chest.

Maybe he should think about how the prophesy had eventually come true, or how he would never be able to witness the resurrection of Lorien.

But, no. All he can think of is Marina.

He turns to her, tries to say it – those words that he neglected to tell her on the roof that night– but nothing _comes out. _

Her eyes are wide with shock, impossibly wide, and even with sweat beading around her skin and mud herself from head to toe; Marina is a pleasant sight to see as his last.

* * *

He doesn't know if it's some kind of attempt at a jape that death leaves him behind when he picks everyone up, but he doesn't really mind. He gets to stay behind and watch over Marina. It's a completely win situation.

Or so he thinks.

At first, he watches as she cries herself to sleep, heart breaking at every sob, and wishes that he can take her in his arms and stroke her hair and whisper sweet words in her ear.

All he can do is watch, and wish.

He stands with nerves ablaze on the sidelines as she makes a barely avoidable brush with death while they are battling a particularly vicious group of mogs. Luckily, Nine manages to dive in and tackle her to the ground, the blaster fire brushes his shirt, searing away the fabric, and Eight would have released a relieved breath, had he any left.

Maybe he should have realized the inevitable at that very moment.

When they reunite with the others (Nine nearly kills Adam after Marina ices him to a tree, but the rest quickly arrive to save the poor mog), Eight watches as both groups recount their sides of the story, after settling in to some cheap bed and breakfast at the edge of civilization. They all gather in the bedroom, and Marina sits next to Six, her legs crossed and her hands in her lap. Eight sits on her other side, close enough to brush arms with her.

Death has taught him how to be close enough to touch someone, but far enough to be on a different planet as them.

When they are told of Ella's kidnapping, the ice behind Marina's ice seems to crack for just a moment, and she gives a broken gasp – so terribly broken it makes Eight want to gather her up in his arms and teleport her somewhere far away. _She just lost me, and now Ella, her closest friend, is gone too, maybe even to a worse fate than death._

Marina's voice is unbearably cold as she recounts the part about his death, and almost everyone seems to shift uncomfortably. Six reaches out to give Marina a comforting arm after Nine picks up the story, but she flinches away and slides off the bed.

She passes right through Eight, and the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach isn't painful, but it makes him want to scream in agony.

Everyone looks up at her, eyes curious, and Eight sees the blood beginning to drip from her hand as she closes her fist tight enough to break skin.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she explains icily.

He follows her as she leaves the room, smudging blood on the door knob on her way out, and they can both hear the collective sighs that seep from the bottom of the door.

* * *

After that, everyone treats Marina like glass.

When Eight's name comes up in a conversation, they all turn to look at her with wide-eyes. No one tries to touch her. No one is too rough with her in training (aside from Nine. But Eight isn't really sure there's ever a day when Nine isn't rough with someone), and when she walks into the room everyone goes silent for a moment.

He can tell Marina hates it. He wonders if he is the only one.

(As it so happens, he isn't, but he doesn't know. Not yet.)

And so, it goes on. He lies down next to Marina as she tosses and turns at night, he sits on the floor on the sidelines and watches as she trains with the others (she has extra combat lessons with Nine – he's the only one that actually trains with her properly, without holding back), he sits between her and Nine as they drive in their rented car, watching her stare out the window with vacant eyes.

Sometimes, they get a few rooms in some inn. Other times, everyone just sleeps in the truck that they jacked from the side of the road.

It's been a week since the reunion when 'Sanny Martin' (Nine has come up with another alias – one which makes John crinkle his nose when it is spoken) rents an apartment, using the card that Sandor gave him.

The apartment is pretty small, and pretty simple. It's got three rooms, a living room which is connected to both the dining room and the kitchen, and a bathroom. John and Sarah take one room and Six and Sam take another room (Eight doesn't know when that happened, but okay). There's this whole toss-up debate about who owns the last room, but when Marina says she'll sleep on the couch so the other two can share, it's resolved.

Eight wonders if she thinks that, maybe, it could have been him sharing a room with her (Eight doesn't notice, but Nine gives Marina a worried look).

After that, they immediately get round to arranging Ella's rescue ("It's about time," Nine drawls, looking over at Marina. She doesn't smile, but Eight can tell that she's amused).

That night, Marina almost gives Eight the heart attack of a lifetime. After everyone's gone to bed, she's the only one still up. She's sitting on the balcony staring out at the city lights and fiddling with a small chunk of ice. Eight sits across from her, watching as the ice turns from a cat, to a dog, to a snowflake.

Even though he can't touch her and she can't see him, he enjoys times like this. He can just sit there with his chin balanced in his hands, watching her. He loves the way her teeth catch her lip when she concentrates, the way she stares out at the world with an almost vacant look in her eye. He loves the way her fingers mold the ice, shaping it as she likes. He can watch her all day.

When she stands up, Eight assumes that she is just going to bed. He doesn't suspect a thing when she walks up to the railing, worrying away at her lip.

When she leans over the rail, however, he begins to grow suspicious.

"Marina?" he asks, almost impulsively. "Marina, what are you doing?"

She looks down over the railing, eyes curious, as if gauging something.

And then he realizes exactly what's happening.

"Marina, NO!" he yelps, running up to her and trying to wrap his arms around her waist – to pull her back. They pass right through her, and he growls in frustration. "Marina, don't you dare. You _stop right there!"_

Of course, she doesn't hear him.

She stares down at ground – about _four fucking stories bellow _– and steps onto the grill. Her thighs are level with the metal railing, and her fists are tight around it.

He wishes that he could touch her – that she could hear him – that _oh fuck she's leaning completely over the railing fuck fuck fuckity fuck. _

He isn't sure when Nine enters the scene – it all happens so fast, and Nine is a blur as he sprints – but he's suddenly there, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back so hard that they both topple backwards onto the floor. They lay there, and Nine's panting is the only thing that hangs in the air.

"Marina, _what the hell was that_?" Nine asks, not loud enough to be yelling, but not quite enough to be speaking normally.

She answers with a sob – an unexpected sob – and Nine freezes. Eight can see the arms that are tightly fixed around her waist tense. That's all that they hear for a few moments – Marina's sobbing. Nine is obviously not sure what to do, so he stays there, under her, arms circled tightly around her.

Nine places a hand on her hair, exactly where Eight's hand hovers over when he lies next to her in bed. He strokes it awkwardly, and Eight sits by them, trying to swallow the envy building in his throat. _Nine is comforting her, something you can't do. Stop being silly. _

He doesn't think twice as she turns into Nine's chest, shaking with the sobs, and cuddles into him, but later on he'll think that maybe he should have.

* * *

If he had never seen it happen, Eight would have never suspected a thing. Maybe Nine does sneak some looks at her sometimes, and maybe Marina does look a bit awkward when Nine is sitting near her, but, aside from that, nothing really changes.

It has been about a week when the rescue plan is perfected. Eight is slightly glad that Marina is going in with Nine – he's sure he'll be able to protect her. He's saved her life twice – once from a blaster and the second time from herself.

The plan is that Adam hacks into the mog base's system, sets off a bunch of alarms on the other side of the building, which will attract all the mogs. Whilst they do that, Marina and Nine sneak in, grab Ella, and that's that.

Eight sits in the back of the car, watching as Nine drives. The base that Ella's being held in is quite a long drive away, so they have quite the drive to sit through.

Nine sighs suddenly, breaking the silence.

"We can't just pretend that it never happened," he says.

Marina gulps, and Eight's eyes flit over to her. Her eyes are fixed on Nine, and her face is icy as ever. The indifferent way she speaks makes Eight's heart break. "Nine, it's fine."

Nine looks at her through the mirror – a dark, rough look – and his jaw clenches. Eight suddenly got the feeling that he was intruding – which was crazy. There was nothing to intrude on. "You almost jumped off a fucking building, Marina!"

Marina turns to face the window. "Now isn't the time, Nine."

"When is it going to be the time, Marina? Tomorrow? The day after? Never?" he hissed.

Her jaw sets. "Stop it."

"Marina, Eight is _dead,_" he snaps, "pulling some shit out of a teen movie isn't gonna get him back!"

Everything falls silent – so silent that only the sound of the wheels against the road could be heard.

"I want to let go," she says, voice hard as stone.

Unspoken words echo in Eight's ears – words that make Eight's heart shatter.

_But I can't. _

* * *

The mission is an all-round success.

Unless, of course, you count that they only _just _avoid capture. And you also have to discount that Ella actually almost dies – _twice. _

Well, the point is that they survive and, for the most, part Marina survives – which is a fact that Eight revels in.

Marina sits in the back with Ella as the speed away from the crumbling mog base ("We should probably leave something behind for those friends of ours," Nine said, dumping out the contents of his bag – which happened to all be sticks of dynamite. Eight seriously has no idea where the fuck those came from, but okay), and Nine is laughing like a madman up front.

"WOOHOO!" he yells.

"Can you keep it down up front?" Marina snaps at him. "And drive a little slower. We don't want anyone to notice us."

"WE JUST BOMBED A FUCKING MOG BASE!" Nine woops.

Marina settles for just throwing Nine a glare before turning back to Ella.

"Are you okay?" she asks, and her voice makes both Nine and Eight turn their heads.

Not because it's Marina and the sound of her voice is generally a pleasant sound. It's because, just in those three words, Marina's voice wasn't icy. And, for a moment, she sounded like herself again.

The moment is short-lived, however, when she looks at Nine, who is just staring at her and not paying any attention to the fact that he is driving, and says, "Both eyes on the road, Nine! You'll get us all killed!"

Eight's shoulders sag, and Nine blinks.

* * *

Strangely enough, after that, Nine and Marina grow _closer. _Eight lies in between them when they hang out in Nine's room, not talking and mostly doing their own things. He stands on the side lines as they do combat training together, Marina trying to beat him and Nine yelling motivational insults. He may not be able to beat her when it comes to Legacies, but during combat training, he's the boss. He sits on the counter next to Nine and Marina as they prepare meals. Nine is ever the attentive student, but that doesn't stop him from burning himself at least fifty times while trying to stir the soup, and cutting himself whilst trying to saw through a carrot. ("Don't _saw _at it," Marina tells him, grabbing his hand over the knife and carefully guiding him. Nine doesn't even pay attention to what she's telling him – he simply watches her lips move. "You need to _chop _it.")

Eight doesn't think much of it, though. The tension between them has dissipated, and that is all he cares about. He doesn't realize what's happening.

(In hindsight, he really should have)

* * *

The next time they address her suicide attempt; Nine is halfway to death himself. It is almost surprising when she is the one who brings it up – without any force or pressure.

His back is riddled with bullet wounds, after an ambush from government officers ("Come on!" Nine had yelled, exasperated as he rose from the shelf Marina had tackled him into in order to avoid a bullet, he picked a few Pringle crumbles out of his hair and dusted Doritos off his shirt. "Can't aliens go on a shopping trip in peace?!").

"Fuck," he groans, tensing against the onslaught of pain. He's lying in her lap, face down, and they are sitting in the back of the police truck (they may have left a heap of government officials trussed up at the side of the road, but that is not to be talked about). "Ouch, shit that hurts. Assholes."

Eight grins when Marina rolls her eyes, her face sending out a clear signal of 'can you believe this guy?'. "Calm down, Nine. And tone down the swearing."

"Are you guys okay back there?" John asks from his place in the front seat.

"My back is full of holes, Johnny!" Nine groans. "Do I fucking _look _okay?!"

"Nine!" Marina moans, when Ella begins to giggle in the front seat. She looks so flustered and exasperated, it's just _adorable. _

_It's times like these, especially, when I'm glad that I am still here. _

"Tell me a – ouch! _Shit – _story," Nine says.

Marina pauses, hands hovering over one of the bullet holes. "What?"

"Distract me," he hisses. "Say something to – " the car lurches as Jon hits a rocky part of the road, and Nine yelps " – distract me," he finishes.

She frowns for a moment, her brow creasing, and both boys are surprised at what she says next. Marina is strangely casual about it, as she lowers her palms onto his wound.

She leans in, lips nearly brushing the shell of Nine's ear.

"I wasn't actually going to jump," she whispers, and Eight only just catches it. Nine's breath catches mid-groan. Forgetting that there is no way in hell that Marina will be able to hear him, Eight says 'What?'.

Nine's wound begins to close beneath her fingertips as she speaks once more. "I just….I just wanted to imagine what it could be like. I wanted to look down, and tell myself that I would be allowed to do it. I imagined that I wasn't an alien with the life of my planet hanging over my head," she sighs. "I imagined what it would be like to not have so much priorities. To be able to look down and tell myself that I would really do it. I imagined that…I was free."

For a second, everything is frozen, hanging on a swords edge. Nine has made no comment throughout her whole speech, not emitting a single sound, be it a swear a groan or even a cry of pain. Eight finds himself enraptured in her – the way her eyes stare off into the distance, hazy with melancholy.

And then the moment is broken. Marina pulls her hands away.

"All done," she says, smudging Nine's blood on her shirt.

Nine does not climb out of her lap. Marina makes no move to remedy this.

And Eight suddenly feels something needling in his heart – something close to realization.

* * *

One day, Marina talks to him. Well, not exactly talks _to him. _She doesn't know he's there. But, she's lying down on the balcony, back pressed to the floor, and she just tips her head up to the stars. Her voice is barely audible.

"Hi," she tells the sky. "Hi. If you're up there, doing whatever you do in heaven, I guess…um, tell Adelina I love her? And tell the Elders we're coming back to Lorien. Definitely. We haven't come so far – lost so much – to lose, yeah? I just….I guess I just wanted you to know that." A tear inches out of her eye, disappears into her hair. "And I – " her voice cracks " – I just really _miss _you. I'm not sure, but I might have been a little in love with you? Maybe?" She sniffs, and then gives what sounds like laugh. "I wish you were here. I wish it was me that was dead. You don't know how much I wish that…" she starts to chuckle. "It's just…why _you_?" her chuckles turn to sobs, and she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. "Why did you – " her sentence is cut off with a sob " – why did you have to _go_? Why? Why couldn't it be me?" Her breath hitches in another sob.

_I'M HERE! _He wants to shout, wants to _scream. I'M RIGHT HERE, MARINA! CAN'T YOU FEEL ME?! _

_I love you. _

He kneels down, his palm hovering over her shoulder. "Marina," he whispers instead. "It's okay."

She turns and then _looks _at him, right at him, and he can just jump for joy….

…except she _isn't. _She's looking through him.

He himself turns to see where she is looking, and Nine is standing there, and the disappointment is so thick he actually slumps. "Oh."

"Marina, you coming to bed any time soo…" he kind of trails off. Takes her in.

Eight expects him to say something. 'You okay?' maybe, or 'What's wrong?'

Except he _doesn't_. He just walks over, sits next to her and tips his head back to scan the sky too.

"Nice night, huh?" His voice is strangely calm. "Stars are out and everything. Full moon, too."

She breaths out, a relieved exhale. "Yeah," she sighs, hand reaching for him, almost unconsciously. Nine meets her half way, entwining their fingers together.

And for the first time since he started watching Marina, he feels as though he is intruding on something.

* * *

They have gone on the offence, bombing minor Mog bases as practical training. Adam, Sam and Malcolme are behind the scenes, hacking into the systems and disabling certain alarms. This time, it is Nine and Marina's turn to actually go _in_, so they leave everyone behind in the police truck to watch anxiously. (It is now their permanent ride, and they decided to make good use of the technology that was hidden under the back seat. A laptop and two ear pieces. It isn't perfect, but they make do.)

In theory, it should be quite easy. They haven't come across any bases that contain prisoners in them – not yet – so all they have to do is place the gas tanks in the air vents, a feat which is not very hard considering Nine's antigravity, rig the place with dynamite, and throw in a burning match before they go.

Except, just because the systems are down, doesn't mean the mogs are any less, so they have to skirt around hallways and be very careful so as not to be caught.

"Eagle Goode to Ice Princess," Sam's voice is scratchy through the ear piece. Eight is standing close enough to just hear it.

"What is it, Sam?" Marina sighs. Her and Nine are about to climb into the air vent, and are standing, hand in hand, on the ceiling.

"Codenames, Ice Princess, codenames!" Sam exclaims on the other side, voice full of exasperation.

Marina rolls her eyes, but her lips quirk up. "Okay, Eagle Goode. What is it?"

"Squad coming, around the corner, hurry up and get out of there," 'Eagle Goode' replies.

"Got it," she mutters. Without warning, she tears her hand out of Nine's, and falls to the ground. Eight can't help the yelp, as she plummets toward the ground, but Nine looks completely unfazed. She tucks herself into the ball, twirling twice in the air before her feet touch the ground. He looks down at her, and a silent conversation passes in between them, which Eight completely misses the meaning of. He feels a pang in his chest, but can't pin the feeling.

When the mogs come round the corner, she is ready for them. Some hold guns, two hold donuts, and one of them holds what looks to be Starbucks coffee.

But, even then, Marina is cut off guard, when she notices who is standing in the middle of the squad, a crease in his brow and deep in conversation with one of the others.

Eyes meet. All parties freeze.

"Five," Marina growls, the first to react. There is a thick curtain of hate in her eyes, and it hits him like a wall. Dread starts to throb in the back of his throat, clogging his throat and making it had to breathe. He's _never _seen Marina so hateful – not even to mogs.

Eight should feel resentment, he thinks, but he doesn't. He feels _pity. _The way Five recoils, backing up, his only eye widening. It hits Eight again that _Marina _did that to Five – _his _Marina. His soft, kind Marina. Did that.

_Maybe she isn't yours anymore, _a traitorous voice whispers in the back of his mind. Eight pushes the thought away, not wishing to think of it.

"M-marina!" Five stutters.

Sam's voice whispers in Marina's ear. "Ice Princess, come in Ice Princess. Stand down. Run away. Don't fight."

Marina doesn't listen.

One hand flies out, a blast of ice shooting from her finger tips, and one mog dissolves under the pure force of the blow, coffee crashing to the ground and spilling everywhere.

A mog holding a donut lunges, but Nine swoops down and tackles him to the ground. Before any others can do anything – sound an alarm, run away, _anything _– Marina is curving around the wall on a wave of ice, blasting one of the mogs that hold a gun, and she pulls the gun towards her when said mog turns to ash.

"Oh no you don't!" Nine yells as Five tries to get away, tackling him to the ground, and Five gives a cry of pain.

It's over in seconds, the ground covered in dust, ash floating around like snow. Five is the only one left, wrestling with Nine on the ground. He slaps his palm onto the ground, absorbing the material, so Nine's next punch crashes right into a metal jaw. The crack of his knuckles is very loud, but it's drowned out by Nine's yell of anger when Five rolls on top, metal fist crashing right into his nose.

He seems to forget that Marina is there, so he is unsurprisingly startled when she jumps in from the side, pinning him to the ground.

And then Eight is staring at a mess of limbs and fists and the gun skids across the ground, away from the wrestling aliens.

"Marina," Five sputters through blood, turning off his externa. Her hands are at his throat, her thighs clenched around his legs to keep them together. Nine takes a second to recover before he pushes himself up on his hands and knees.

"Give me one reason," she growls. "One reason why I shouldn't keep my promise to tear out your other eye."

"I….I don't…." he shakes his head slowly, carefully. "Join me, Marina. Join me. It's Nine's fault that Eight died. If he wasn't such an asshole, I would have never lost it with him. Eight died because of Nine, Marina. Please…just join me. You have so much potential – which can be released better with the mogs. You could be so powerful…"

She isn't looking at Five, though. Her eyes are locked on Nine's face, a crease in her brow. There's something in her eyes – something that Eight can't recognize.

_Don't listen to him, Marina, _Eight thinks. _Leave Five behind. _

Her hands loosen their grip around Five's throat, and Nine startles, backing away, his eyes full of pain and betrayal.

"Marina…" Nine whispers as Marina stands up, walking towards him. "Marina, don't…"

Five smirks, sitting up and rubbing his throat. "I knew you'd come to your – "

He's cut off my Marina's roundhouse kick, which takes him around the jaw with enough force to snap it. He falls to the ground, clutching at it

"You stabbed Eight," she hisses. "Nine egged you on, but that doesn't make it right that you tried to kill him. We're taking this place down, so you'd best find some place safe before it blows up." She spins on her heel, finishes her journey to Nine, and pulls him up. "Let's go," she says. "Before anyone notices the smell of gas."

Nine recovers from the shock pretty quickly, grabbing her around the waist. He turns off the gravity, and they climb back into the air vent. The

"Fire Angel to Ice Princess," John's voice is a scratchy hiss on the other side. "You are in a lot of fucking trouble."

Surprisingly, Marina smirks. "Don't I know it."

When they arrive on the roof, Marina lights the match. Tosses it into the vent.

"We are so fucked," Nine chuckles as they run towards the edge, hand entwined in Marina's.

"I have never felt so good about those four words in my life!" Marina yells.

They jump. The world goes to fire behind them.

* * *

Eight is standing right in front of them when they kiss. Their fall is broken when Marina calls a wave of frost to collect them, and they slide down to a graceful landing.

Before she can make a move towards the truck, Nine pulls her back, right through Eight (the cold feeling he gets when Marina passes through him is still there), and right into his arms. His lips crash down on hers.

A building is burning behind them, pure heat radiates from it.

And _of course _Nine doesn't think about that. It is a reckless move, a gamble. It is Nine, and why didn't Eight see this coming? Why didn't he pay closed attention to those little spaces and moments where Nine and Marina were falling in love before his eyes?

Eight gapes, speechless.

What catches him more off guard is when Marina _kisses back. _

A confusing mix of betrayal, jealousy and selfish anger clogs his throat.

_No. _This isn't right. None of this is right.

_I died for you! _He feels like screaming. _I died for you, and, and Marina, what are you doing? Did I mean so little to you?_

_It's been nearly a year since you died, _hisses a voice in the back of his mind. _What did you expect? For her to be hung up on you forever? _

Marina and Nine are gone to the world, his arms wrapped around her, her fingers holding his face to hers, and there's a whole lot of blood from Nine's broken nose. They are kissing like they are each other's dying breath.

"Marina," Nine groans against her lips.

It is this that calls her back to reality, and she pulls away. Nine follows her lips blindly, but stops when she turns her face away.

"Let go," she says, pushing roughly at his chest with hands that were so gently caressing his cheeks only a few seconds ago. "Let _go _of me."

"Marina," he whispers. "Marina, wait."

He lets her go though, and she stumbles out of his arms, gasping for breath. "Don't – I can't….It's _wrong. _I can't…."

"It's still him?" Nine questions, eyes full of pain. His face resembles that of a kicked puppy.

Eight tries not to feel selfishly happy when she replies.

"_Always,_" she breathes, face flushed from the force of the kiss. "Always."

(He ignores that nagging voice in the back of his head – the one that knows that she's lying)

When they climb into the car, the air is tense with anticipation.

But no one speaks. They all witnessed what happened. John heals Nine's nose in silence. Adam is obviously trying not to stare at the blood smeared on Marina's face, at her swollen lips.

Nine won't stop looking at Marina, his face contorted with pain.

He is the one to break the silence.

"Marina," his voice is a plea.

She does not answer.

And that is that.

**A/N: I will not lie to you. This is very, **_**very **_**self-indulgent. I wanted to write angsty Eight watching Marina fall in love with someone else. And **_**yes **_**there might be plot holes, but like I said. This is self-indulgent. Besides, the self-appointed captain of Stanrina needs to stock up this fandom with more Stanrina, that you may see the glory of our ship *slapped*. **

**Was supposed to be a One-Shot…but it got a **_**little **_**long, as in ten pages long so…I thought this was an okay place to leave off on? For now? I think? O u O. And **_**yes **_**the next chapter of Pretty Boy is in the works. Oh, and if anyone remembers that other Stanrina I wrote ('A Broken Bird' if I am correct), about…four different one-shots in different POVs are also being plotted, one of which is just about half-way finished. Yes, yes. I have no life. **

**I haven't been in school for nearly two years. Sue me.**

**Next part will have a little less focus on Stanrina.**

**P.S. Follow me on tumblr. URL – leninjapizza. **

_**Pheobe, out.**_


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